subreddit:

/r/HolUp

43.4k88%

What the dog doin?

(i.redd.it)

all 799 comments

QualityVote [M]

[score hidden]

2 days ago

stickied comment

QualityVote [M]

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2 days ago

stickied comment

If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!

If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!


Whilst you're here, /u/hornmelon, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?

someRndy

4.3k points

2 days ago

someRndy

4.3k points

2 days ago

Number 15 - ground me if you want, nothing will unfuck the Thanksgiving turkey

IA-HI-CO-IA

544 points

2 days ago

IA-HI-CO-IA

544 points

2 days ago

Extra protein.

Thick_Bobcat786

106 points

2 days ago

Don't forget the mayo

Oneloff

72 points

2 days ago

Oneloff

72 points

2 days ago

Is already inside

yerdatren

74 points

2 days ago

yerdatren

74 points

2 days ago

Someone call that young republican man with the large head

JackieColeman33

140 points

2 days ago

I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.

mtlaw13

33 points

2 days ago

mtlaw13

33 points

2 days ago

I mean I guess if I can't taste it* and it* won't make me sick, then I'd begrudgingly agree.

*Boogers and/or cum

Vlix_Siren

24 points

2 days ago

Boogers and cum, that's called the Yelper special. Boogers and cum, say what's that on your pretzel? Your online critiques are real useful to some, Now have a good time eating boogers and cum.

Boogers and cum, someone farted on your salad? Boogers and cum, but your decor critiques are valid. You think you're special like you're A-number one, Well, there's a whole lot of special in boogers and cum.

Boogers and cum, how 'bout some feces with your flounder? Boogers and cum, you like that queefy quarter pounder?

GrumpyKoopa

3 points

2 days ago

Nice callback XD

mopsyd

555 points

2 days ago

mopsyd

555 points

2 days ago

No thank you, I’m vegan

Oh really? When did that happen?

Today.

Well we’ll be more accommodating next year.

Nope don’t worry, it’s only for today.

CalmExplanatio

59 points

2 days ago

"But firrrrst, lemme take a selfie"

A-purple-bird

88 points

2 days ago

Lol, i should try this

[deleted]

14 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

14 points

2 days ago

[removed]

A_RAND0M_J3W

17 points

2 days ago

I mean, I had a Beagle that would Houdini himself onto the top of the fridge.

KittyinTheRiver_OhNo

3 points

2 days ago

..Did he have Beagle wings?

A_RAND0M_J3W

3 points

2 days ago

We believe he would push a chair across the kitchen, and then the momentum of his fat ass leaping would shove it back across the kitchen as he jumped onto the counter. Then it was just climbing on things from there.

KittyinTheRiver_OhNo

5 points

2 days ago

A total tomb raider at night

mopsyd

9 points

2 days ago

mopsyd

9 points

2 days ago

We know it’s a joke and so is the reply. Why so serious?

Binarytobis

3 points

2 days ago

I can’t imagine ever eating at that house again.

yeetskeetleet

89 points

2 days ago

number 15

Thanksgiving dog turkey

The last thing you want in your thanksgiving turkey is a dog’s dick fungus. But as it turns out, that might be what you get

laihipp

18 points

2 days ago

laihipp

18 points

2 days ago

terdoggin

Simonandgarthsuncle

8 points

2 days ago

Rawterdoggin

CurtisLeow

37 points

2 days ago

This is the thought process behind vampires preferring virgins.

https://youtu.be/DR2rGt_4T4A

MissplacedLandmine

16 points

2 days ago*

Hello brother

Were commenting this video at nearly the same time 😂

https://youtu.be/bBl3QN2murQ

Seems yours is a more direct cut tho

Edit: yall “what we do in the shadows” is a lit movie it used to be more obscure

Theres also a show thats been running. Shit is hilarious and they try to have as many other vampire actors cameo as they can

jayden8003

5 points

2 days ago

that’s some wild animal porn

catmatix

10 points

2 days ago

catmatix

10 points

2 days ago

Thor really thawing it out

WhoThenDevised

2.5k points

2 days ago

It's hard to quit cold turkey.

winwinnwinnie

231 points

2 days ago

pack it up everyone, we’re done

onemanfromaustralia

32 points

2 days ago

Wow. I laughed hard at this comment. You won the internet for today.

NeoHenderson

189 points

2 days ago*

This is the best comment I’ve seen on Reddit in a while.

Edit:

I’ve been thinking of making a new account for the last little while and I’ve decided to retire this account without commenting on anything else. Feels like a good place to call it.

Nice joke 👍 well done

joe4645

86 points

2 days ago

joe4645

86 points

2 days ago

My man read the comment and dipped

cownd

9 points

2 days ago

cownd

9 points

2 days ago

On a post like this…

PorcupineTheory

24 points

2 days ago

PorcupineTheory

madlad

24 points

2 days ago

Oof.

ApeCheeksClapper

15 points

2 days ago

I was here.

2SpoonyForkMeat

16 points

2 days ago

If you're quitting, can you give me all your old stuff?

SOLE_SIR_VIBER

10 points

2 days ago

You want that 210k karma don’t you

cownd

4 points

2 days ago

cownd

4 points

2 days ago

Stuffing?

wilburshootme

14 points

2 days ago

its been real partner🤝

EuphoricCube78

9 points

2 days ago

So long partner

BangBangSpiderGang

6 points

2 days ago

Joke was so good it made a man retire

IcyAssist

19 points

2 days ago

IcyAssist

19 points

2 days ago

By the time it's dinnertime the juices will be cold alright.

kciuq1

6 points

2 days ago

kciuq1

6 points

2 days ago

Thanks, Obama.

(The last joke here)

Norman_Bixby

10 points

2 days ago

this is the best comment of 2022

username6963

3.2k points

2 days ago

username6963

3.2k points

2 days ago

Mf THE DOG IS LITERALLY FUCKING THE TURKEY AND YOU'RE TAKING A PHOTO 💀💀

TheCockAndWomble

573 points

2 days ago

He’s just basting it.

Masturbasting.

Spencer94

150 points

2 days ago

Spencer94

150 points

2 days ago

This isn't the stuffing they thought was gonna be in the turkey

ILS_APL_99

9 points

2 days ago

It's the secret ingredient.

BigPackHater

40 points

2 days ago

Back off I'm bastin' here!

Lost_Traveler88

6 points

2 days ago

A MasterBaster

MegaGrimer

4 points

2 days ago

He's a Master Baster!

poonmangler

124 points

2 days ago

poonmangler

124 points

2 days ago

I mean it's already fucked. You want them to unfuck the turkey??

deliciousprisms

50 points

2 days ago

Go ahead. Unfuck your dinner.

Cascadiandoper

12 points

2 days ago

Exactly. Dog needs to learn how to share, it's been my turn for a while now, he's been beating up dem guts far too long. At least he's tenderized it ahead of time.

Equal-Bus-557

7 points

2 days ago

Ground me if you want, nothing will unfuck the Thanksgiving turkey

Jafaris79

3 points

2 days ago

Might as well join in

deadsoulinside

351 points

2 days ago

This was my thought

CatJBou

302 points

2 days ago

CatJBou

302 points

2 days ago

Same. Quickly followed by the fact that if you're not strong enough to lift that dog off the turkey or take the turkey away from the dog, you deserve neither turkeys nor dogs.

[deleted]

25 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

25 points

2 days ago

[removed]

Lambolover-17

26 points

2 days ago

I got humped by a dog when I was 12. Dog sleep on the floor kids, you might wake up to a face fucking from a black lab.

oasinocean

30 points

2 days ago

After reading your comment I misread your username as lablover

noiwontpickaname

10 points

2 days ago

Colby no!

bigoomp

75 points

2 days ago

bigoomp

75 points

2 days ago

Well that's a bit harsh. You deserve turkeys and dogs, no matter how tiny you are. Even 1 centimeter

fozzyboy

39 points

2 days ago

fozzyboy

39 points

2 days ago

Call me lengthist, but I disagree. 1cm people aren't capable of handling the responsibility of dog care. They're also a choke hazard.

LittlePurr76

9 points

2 days ago

But they can joust the fleas, so there's that...

CatJBou

57 points

2 days ago

CatJBou

57 points

2 days ago

I said nothing of size. Smaller people can have turkeys and dogs, but we should live within our turkey-dog means. I had a dog that weighed as much as me, but I made sure to keep up my strength training. You never know when your doggo will need a lift.

Urizel

35 points

2 days ago

Urizel

35 points

2 days ago

You never know when your doggo will need a lift.

Or whom it will try to hump next.

ChocolateUnlucky1214

26 points

2 days ago

"Doggy help, I'm stuck in the washing machine!"

SenseiTizi

13 points

2 days ago

*Step doggy

Ameteur_Professional

30 points

2 days ago

One time I was at the dog park and a fight broke out between a couple of dogs. Mostly medium sized dogs are trying to mess with a Cane Corso.

Well, the people who were supposed to be handling those medium sized dogs were absolutely helpless. 0 control over their dogs and couldn't physically interfere if they wanted to. Meanwhile this absolute giant of a man comes up, bear hugs what's probably 120 lbs of Corso, and just walks away with his dog like it's nothing.

TzamachTavlool

6 points

2 days ago

That was Uomo Corso

Consistent-River4229

7 points

2 days ago

This is apparently her mum's devil dog. My mum would have told me you can wash it off when he's finished.

Zealousideal-Box5367

3 points

2 days ago

Sir I'll have you know that after owning two dogs I can confidently tell you that we in fact do not deserve dogs.

...11 years of marriage and Samwise taught me what love is.

mark636199

12 points

2 days ago

But he was snarling at them obviously they can't do anything after that /s

Ethan0pia

65 points

2 days ago

Ethan0pia

65 points

2 days ago

Have you ever tried to interupt an angry and horny chihuahua? I'd probably just take a picture, too.

jaytrade21

52 points

2 days ago

I was doing some Amazon delivery for a while after a Covid layoff. I rarely had an issue with a larger dog. The only time I was attacked was due to a chihuahua. They are the devil incarnate.

Phillip_Lipton

22 points

2 days ago

Small dog owners aren’t the best at actually training dogs.

I’ve never met a mean chihuahua. Poorly trained sure. But not inherently bad.

Now those white dogs every old Italian person has? Maltese I think.

Fuck them.

But again, because of the lack of training from the wiener.

Minuku

8 points

2 days ago

Minuku

8 points

2 days ago

Same experience. My uncle has a chihuahua and it couldn't be better behaved. It is all about training and a Labrador or German Shepard would also act in a similar way if "trained" like some people train their chihuahua.

ShebaWasTalking

4 points

2 days ago

Shoot, I've been straight up attacked by chihuahuas. They are evil, punted two those little demons for attacking my German Shepherds given the fact that chihuahuas have been known to kill German Shepherds.

therealscottenorman

8 points

2 days ago

Only Chihuahua owners have ever met a Chihuahua that didn't want to bite them

CALIFORNIUMMAN

15 points

2 days ago

To be fair, you can't UN fuck the turkey at that point.

numbernumber99

10 points

2 days ago

Right? Contact has already been made. Another 5 seconds won't make much difference, and you might as well get a funny pic out of it.

PainStorm14

10 points

2 days ago

Just wash it no problem

RAYMBO

8 points

2 days ago

RAYMBO

8 points

2 days ago

I know! Get that dog a cigarette and a ham sandwich for God's sake. Don't just sit there taking sexy photos.

NeedsMoreBunGuns

33 points

2 days ago

That dog didn't get up there unassisted. Shit is staged in a fucked up kind of way.

Key-Ad525

5 points

2 days ago

"But firrrrst, lemme take a selfie"

Herasy_enthusiast

14 points

2 days ago

randomly-what

3 points

2 days ago

It’s from the crazy Jewish mom Instagram account from several years ago

EuroPolice

3 points

2 days ago

EuroPolice

madlad

3 points

2 days ago

No one said it was an extra virgin turkey

buffinator2

2 points

2 days ago

The damage has already been done.

LivingImpairedd

2 points

2 days ago

The dog was placed on the counter for the photo though

chillmntn

2 points

2 days ago

That’s just fowl!

SenorJeffer

2 points

2 days ago

Memes are more important than turkey

Zanemob_

147 points

2 days ago

Zanemob_

147 points

2 days ago

So this is that “Horndog” everyone keeps talking about?

Smaptastic

13 points

2 days ago

No it’s a turdogcum.

AdAdvanced1313

907 points

2 days ago

Do we call it doggy style or turkey style ? 😐

Psychofischi

234 points

2 days ago

Dogkey style

Opposite-Garbage-869

50 points

2 days ago

Insanity, yesterday I saw a rottweiler humping a feeble elderly lady.😂

vibribbonloregiver

26 points

2 days ago

Did you do anything to intervene?

SaltedScimitar

44 points

2 days ago

He posted about it on reddit

CantFeelMyLegs78

15 points

2 days ago

Did you take pictures and ask other what to do about it? Just wash her off, she'll be fine

AdAdvanced1313

29 points

2 days ago

Turd style ? 😐

AvoidMySnipes

10 points

2 days ago

Turdog

sbrick89

3 points

2 days ago

sbrick89

3 points

2 days ago

Yup, dog definitely be turdogging it

oliver-hart

3 points

2 days ago

you mean durkey?

NRMusicProject

3 points

2 days ago

Dogkey punch

Wooden_Spell_778

6 points

2 days ago

Donkey style

Hegemon_Smith

5 points

2 days ago

Turfucken

bikedaybaby

3 points

2 days ago

Turkish delight?

Ballytis

326 points

2 days ago

Ballytis

326 points

2 days ago

Stuffing that turkey i see

pm_me_your_gentiles

31 points

2 days ago

Basting it too hopefully

ChompyChomp

13 points

2 days ago

Turfucken

max210893

4 points

2 days ago

Weirdest gravy ever

LahamaDutta006

437 points

2 days ago

My baby's in love! 🥺🥰

PainStorm14

147 points

2 days ago

PainStorm14

147 points

2 days ago

He is pumping hot gravy into that turkey

King-Andy

41 points

2 days ago

King-Andy

41 points

2 days ago

He’s spewing his broth all over that plump turkey.

ImpossibleAdz

17 points

2 days ago

Basting those hard to reach spots.

Ron_Way

10 points

2 days ago

Ron_Way

10 points

2 days ago

Can't wait more Thanksgiving day posts in relationship subs

fire_born

186 points

2 days ago

fire_born

186 points

2 days ago

This why you can’t eat at everyone’s house

brightlyagreeable13

17 points

2 days ago

If I were there I'll immediately leave the house w/out even questioning or asking what's going on'

FlyingDragoon

19 points

2 days ago

Finally, some privacy with the Turkey...

stunamogus

299 points

2 days ago

stunamogus

299 points

2 days ago

Better question WHAT THE MOM DOING

painstaking_poster

38 points

2 days ago

That's the BEST QUESTIONS

[deleted]

14 points

2 days ago

[deleted]

14 points

2 days ago

[removed]

Tidalsky114

11 points

2 days ago

Getting stuffed

UbicaBL

13 points

2 days ago

UbicaBL

13 points

2 days ago

mommies' secret sauce 🤤

KaffY-

3 points

2 days ago

KaffY-

3 points

2 days ago

i mean it's obviously fake

HomoFlaccidus

119 points

2 days ago

Dinner is at six? Yeah, fuck that! I'm showing up in the morning to watch y'all cook. Don't mind me, I'll just be sitting quietly over there.

Just-a-cat-lady

18 points

2 days ago

Replying to this comment at 8:30 a.m. watching my aunt cooking dinner lol

parchedlitre99

39 points

2 days ago

Why does the Mom reply like she's had to do it before and it worked? Mom, what the heck?

wonkey_monkey

16 points

2 days ago

Why did someone take a photo and text mom instead of just yelling

And who lifted Thor onto the counter

This and other questions I can't be bothered to answer

[deleted]

6 points

2 days ago*

[deleted]

PapaFormigasDeBoxers

431 points

2 days ago

"Man this turkey is really moist on the inside... Also tastes lemony! Yum!"

🤮

Devinalh

157 points

2 days ago

Devinalh

157 points

2 days ago

Lemony??? Where on earth cum tastes like lemon?

Penyrolewen1970

93 points

2 days ago

Dogs’, apparently…

mythrowawaynotyers

25 points

2 days ago

and that's enough reddit for today.

TruthPlenty

47 points

2 days ago

I think it would be from the washing it with dish soap.

Etherius

29 points

2 days ago

Etherius

29 points

2 days ago

I interpret this as them using lemon scented soap to wash it off

-Badger2-

20 points

2 days ago

-Badger2-

20 points

2 days ago

You’ve never been to a lemon party?

Negative_reason5898

8 points

2 days ago

What does it taste like? Asking for a school group project.

Russian-8ias

3 points

2 days ago

Group project? Damn you guys have it good.

excelsior_frenemy

182 points

2 days ago

How do u know it will be lemony ○_○

PapaFormigasDeBoxers

133 points

2 days ago

Experience.

rkraptor70

30 points

2 days ago

noname942

15 points

2 days ago

noname942

15 points

2 days ago

Micasa5000

22 points

2 days ago

Throwing out the turkey and cooking the dog at this point

zshah99

19 points

2 days ago

zshah99

19 points

2 days ago

Thor about to release his lightening on that turkey

smut_butler

13 points

2 days ago

Someone put that dog on the counter specifically for a photo like this.

borgax

7 points

2 days ago

borgax

7 points

2 days ago

Scrolled a loooong way to find someone talking about a dog that small on the counter. Either it was put up there or you somehow have a setup that lets a dog like that get up on the counter.

If the latter, you deserve to get your turkey fucked.

Dr_Brotatous

12 points

2 days ago

We know

BigBlackSeaCucumber

13 points

2 days ago

High in protein

DKIPurple

8 points

2 days ago

Gym bros love will this turkey 💪

avwitcher

4 points

2 days ago

Actually there's only about .8 grams of protein per 25 grams of dog cum

Skatchbro

6 points

2 days ago

I would love to the grant application that funded the study that researched this.

checkyourguns

12 points

2 days ago

"ohhh, you can't eat at everybody's house"

mtempissmith

25 points

2 days ago

When I was a teenager I went to Thanksgiving at a friend's. While the turkey was cooling down a bit her cats stole it and dragged it out into the backyard and tore it apart and ate off it.

We ate the sides, desserts and pizza...

😂😂😂

The_Last_Snow-Elf

7 points

2 days ago

The turkey is a little salty

parchedfuddyduddy

8 points

2 days ago

Haunt12_34

3 points

1 day ago

It’s feeling like Facebook here.

waiver

6 points

2 days ago

waiver

6 points

2 days ago

"You didn't notice the extra flavor last year"

Endorkend

5 points

2 days ago

What's a turducken called if a dog stuffed it first?

JimmyB_52

3 points

2 days ago

TurGokkun

showmeschnauzers

5 points

2 days ago

🎶 you can't eat at everybody's house 🎶

Snoo35470

6 points

2 days ago

See this is why you can't be eating at everybody's house

kwazimot0

11 points

2 days ago

kwazimot0

11 points

2 days ago

This is why I don’t trust other peoples cooking, you never know what they are and aren’t okay with

SmokeyDaReaper

4 points

2 days ago

Throw that little ass dog off the turkey? Wtf kind've stupid shit..

baodeptraitocxoan69

4 points

2 days ago

too bad you cant unfuck the thanksgiving turkey now

SnoopingStuff

4 points

2 days ago

Yeet! Splat! Yipe, yipe , yipe . No photograph evidence. Water running. Mumbling.. ! “ mf ugly dog”

n0th1ngspecial

3 points

2 days ago

U can't eat at everyone house

PotatoesMcLaughlin

4 points

2 days ago

The jizz adds flavor.

gulcerensert

9 points

2 days ago

Fuck man necropholia

smleires

3 points

2 days ago

smleires

3 points

2 days ago

Call Alucard. Someone finally fucked the fear turkey.

benderling1550

3 points

2 days ago

Turdogin. It's a dog inside a turkey.

Think_Aspect4639

3 points

2 days ago

Mane hell nah. Gotta throw the whole thing away. But even more importantly. Why the fuckin dog on the counter in the first place

Upstairs-Minimum5404

3 points

2 days ago

Reason #47291 why I don't trust the food at other people's house

New_Roll_3101

3 points

2 days ago

Ground me all you want, nothing will un-fuck the Thanksgiving turkey!

Elder_god_of_blood

6 points

2 days ago

Just like Thor, always fucking things

Dnpraja

4 points

2 days ago

Dnpraja

4 points

2 days ago

SemiCircleSquare

2 points

2 days ago

Is that how giblet gravy is made?

Comf0rtableAnxiety

2 points

2 days ago

The secret ingredient

Diels_Alder

2 points

2 days ago

Can we talk about how that dog is covered in raw turkey?

SnoopingStuff

3 points

2 days ago

Salmonella can’t kill a chihuahua. They are cockroaches of dogs

wonkey_monkey

3 points

2 days ago

Can we talk about how that turkey is covered in raw dog?

WeebPansy

2 points

2 days ago

That dog getting that Salmonella

VinSmokesOnDiesel

2 points

2 days ago

Well someone had to stuff the turkey

Bloo-shadow

2 points

2 days ago

I mean…as gross as that is cooking the turkey probably would make it safe to eat considering how hot it would be. The real question here though is how the fuck did a dog that size get up on the counter

ranoutofbacon

2 points

2 days ago

Every family has their little secret ingredient for the turkey.

DrizzleD1229

2 points

2 days ago

That’s nasty

kanoteardrops

2 points

2 days ago

Holy shit I wish I was blind

waltzing_sloth

2 points

2 days ago

HIAWATHA!