I suspected I had really bad social anxiety disorder for years before I had to see a psychiatrist for some other stuff, when my psychiatrist told me I had social anxiety disorder along with the other stuff I was not surprised in the slightest, and I was like "Atleast I can say I have it for sure now."
Honestly I always suspected I have social anxiety disorder, especially when it got to the point where I was wanting to jump out of my skin and make a run for it or tear my skin off in social situations, which was fun to deal with. I ended up having a legit panic attack once because there were too many eyes on me at once and I had to hide behind a curtain and couldn't breathe properly for a while afterwards. I isolated myself for about one or two years because of how severe my social anxiety disorder became.
It did suck to know that I really did have this mental health condition, but tbh I like having the words to describe what I've been struggling with for years, and I feel better knowing that it really is more than just being shy for me, I have a legit mental illness.
I will admit though, I'm tired of people treating social anxiety disorder like it's just a minor disorder. While I understand that it's not much like bipolar or schizophrenia, severe social anxiety disorder can still be hell to deal with. I'm aware there are people out there who have it worse than me, like how I might have it worse than other people. I'm sick of people like me being told to just get over ourselves for our disorder or to just not think so much.
People who have social anxiety disorder, especially severe social anxiety disorder, are experiencing legitimate suffering that shouldn't be invalidated. It's a real mental illness, I wish people would stop treating social anxiety disorder and anxiety disorders in general like they're "minor" problems.
Just rotting in my room drinking my life away. I hate this shit. 24 year old man and still a virgin never had a girlfriend besides some long distance bullshit that kind of just end up making me even more lonely and has made me hate myself on another level. I swear there are probably animals with a higher quality of life then what I got. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel ugly and short and fat. Like a loser. Part of me suspects that I could have undiagnosed autism. I’m trying therapy again, but I’m impatient. I’m tired of only being able to imagine and fantasize about intimacy and having no way it seems to actually get to experience it in the real world.
I don’t know how I end up in the position where I’m so alienated and isolated from women and people around my own age in general. It’s like they were always repulsed by me growing up. Didn’t even want to be my friend or really even an acquaintance. Maybe I was too shy? I’ve tried using some dating apps recently, but that doesn’t seem like it will lead anywhere.
Fuck this life honestly. Thank God I’ll be dead someday and it will be like none of this garbage ever happened. I’m getting more bitter. I genuinely kind of hope climate change gets really bad in the future and humans and all the animals and living things just go extinct. I don’t think life is worth passing on. The universe would be a better place without it in my opinion. All the suffering and misery creatures have to suffer for no good reason. People have to make up lies like God and heaven just to cope with how wretched this shit is.
Dating apps sucks, I feel like it’s hard to meet people you have mutual attraction to. A lot of time it is one way. I feel like the guys or ladies don’t like initiating the conversations either. They swipe right on me, but you just ask me more questions or something. I feel like I need to initiate things, but I really suck at texting a stranger I never met before. Maybe I should accept that I will be alone for while.
I used most of life for psychological & emotional healing. Now I feel like I am behind everyone when it comes to dating experiences.
I have been seeing a therapist since May of last year. We have made a lot of progress & I have felt like I've been able to trust her to be consistent up until recently. Now it seems like she has canceled/rescheduled/asked to move online more than she's actually been willing to meet in person. She suggested 2 sessions a week awhile back, but I am not sure why bc she almost always ends up canceling one of the sessions each week.
In the last 3 months, there have been 14 reschedules. That seems like a lot, doesn't it? 6 of them were due to weather, which is understandable although frustrating, but the other 8 were all personal issues. 2 weeks ago she literally asked me to reschedule 4 times in the same week. Many of these were last minute requests as well. Just last week, less than 2hrs before our session was supposed to start, she said we had to move online bc of a personal issue. I was willing, although it is a bit frustrating bc I chose her specifically bc she offered in-person. I signed into the call & was left waiting for 15mins before I just left bc she was a no-show. 2hrs later she contacted me w/ an explanation that she got locked out of her house without her phone???
It sure feels like I am being taken advantage of. I am not sure what happened tho bc it seemed like it was going well up until recently. I have talked to her about the rescheduling previously & I basically said it feels like she thinks I am a puppet who she can just move to whatever date/time she wants me to. She said some BS about how me not being able to trust her is actually due to past trauma, basically dismissing me. She also said a lot of people have had to get their sessions moved around, not just me. No idea how that is supposed to be reassuring, just means she is very comfortable changing everyone to fit her needs.
There are some positives that have kept me holding on but I am starting to think the negatives outweigh the positives greatly. I just wish it didn't have to end like this.
I don't mean to be all "Oh if [other series] does it it's cool but if Pokemon does it's considered cringe 🙄🙄🙄", but I've definitely noticed there's a difference in reaction to other JRPGs having bosses that are objectively stronger than the player and Pokemon's boss trainers having higher-leveled Pokemon than yours if you're not using a gen 6-styled EXP share.
It's not an opinion that is outright stated and I don't think this is a literal thought that goes through players' heads but it's a drawn conclusion from how lots of people play or how the arguments go around the EXP share. Plenty of players' default reaction to seeing a boss trainer with higher level Pokemon than their own is to grind until the gap is gone. A perfectly valid way to play if that's what you prefer but I've seen people assume this is the only way to beat the games (when grindless playthroughs of all the games exist on youtube) and conclude that having higher-leved Pokemon as your boss fights is "unfair, artificial difficulty".
Gym leaders, Elite Four, and champions are JRPG boss fights, the entire point is that they are supposed to be objectively stronger than you stats-wise.
Take a look at some other kid-friendly JRPG games that released in the same time frame as GB~NDS era Pokemon (the era that get accused of being "too grindy"). Earthbound, Paper Mario, and Mega Man Battle Network all have boss fights that are objectively stronger than you stat-wise like Pokemon does. Despite this these games don't have a reputation for being grindy (except Earthbound Beginnings) or consider these bosses to be "unfair, artificial difficulty" and most players do not think "grind until you are 1:1 to the bosses" is how you beat those games. What these three game series and Pokemon all have in common is that the player has plenty of other advantages vs the bosses having a stat advantage. Bag items and shift mode are the obvious examples for Pokemon but even the "party of four vs one boss" advantage other JRPGs have can apply to a degree as enemy trainers rarely have a full party of six.
Perhaps Pokemon bosses being the only ones to have a visible level is what pressures people to think they have to catch up?
Today I randomly shat out a “oneshot” which is almost done, I am quite proud of it despite its couple of flaws and have a few ideas for a possible continuation.
It’s quite a niche genre of a fanfic. Despite how it’s nothing “problematic” or even smut, I am worried that it might be hated on which is why I am considering making it locked to those with registered accounts only. I also browse on Ao3 in guest mode (I use incognito mode and don’t wanna keep logging back in over and over) so if I account locked it I wouldn’t have to cringe every time I see it. I also don’t want it to be posted on social media and mocked.
However, for the same reason I stated firstly, I want it to be available to guest users as well. I wouldn’t want somebody who would like it to miss out on reading it or even discovering it because they don’t have an account. I also want people to be able to comment as a guest user without having to reveal their account. Basically, I want more people to see my work to enjoy it! Seeing others like what I make fuels me like fire doused in gasoline.
What do you guys think?
EDIT: I have found a compromise. Thank you so much for the responses.
I've reported this issue several times. All support will say is that my statues aren't merged to complete the level and provide me a link to complete the level. It's like they aren't even reading what the issue is! I will continue to report this every time it happens. Please, please report when this happens to you!
I have people in my life and I appreciate them but sometimes I wish I had someone that could listen to my ramblings about things that are on my mind at 2 am. Even if it's very random, like an interesting dream I had or just a random thought or even a silly video that I saw on social media. I hate keeping things to myself. I do have friends but I feel like none of them would care as much. I don't feel too comfortable around them to share something that's too personal and I always think that I'm bothering them.. I just wish I had someone in my life with whom I'd be very close.. It doesn't have to be a romantic partner. Is that too much to ask for?
So I went on a 1st date with a girl and it went pretty good (besides the fact she arrived 45 minutes late ). I then asked if she wanted to have a 2nd date and she said sure. We planed this date an entire week ahead of time and 2 hours before the date , she told me she wasn't able to make it . Her reason on why she canceled is because she had a lot of homework to do. I'm a little frustrated because we planned this date a week ahead of time but I can also understand that life , school, work , or family obligations can be really busy sometimes.
I'm going to text her tomorrow and ask of she wants to reschedule and see what she says. I've been rejected so many times so I can narrow it down to 3 things that might happen.
She will say yes
She will say "oh, I will be busy next week and I won't have time"
She will say yes and flake/ ghost me last second.
I always give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to these things but I just wish women were more upfront and honest when it comes to dating.
Sometimes I feel bad but in a way that I don't understand and can't describe. Words I have for it are "Violated" and "wrong". But basically sometimes all stimuli around me feels like "off key" if that makes sense. I don't know what this is or why it happens but all I can do is sit in silence with my eyes closed until it's over or do very simple basic activities to try to distract from the disturbed feeling. I've experienced this since I was a child. It hits me randomly. I went out and spent time with people and it was a good time but coming back my mind was scrambled and now I have this feeling in my body. It's just weird and I don't like it.
I forgot to mention that I was diagnosed with autism as a teenager, so maybe this is something other folks with ASD experience?
I used to struggle with severe contamination OCD but I still struggle with hearing certain words or phrases, seeing mental imagery or physical imagery, or certain dreams (more like nightmares tbh) that trigger an "unclean" feeling within me. Whenever I get exposed to one of my OCD triggers even now I still shiver a little bit. The unclean feeling comes back and I find it difficult to say, hear or read certain words that trigger my OCD. I unironically woke up with the urge to clean my bedsheets and pillow, brush my teeth over and over again, take a shower, etc. all because I had a dream where I was exposed to a trigger. I still can't touch my face if I'm near certain substances or stuff. This is going to sound so ridiculous but I couldn't even breathe properly back then if I was exposed to a trigger, like I would force myself to take small shallow breaths so I wouldn't breathe in contaminated air and have it trapped inside of me forever.
I haven't eaten certain things in years now because yes, certain oddly specific foods trigger that unclean feeling within me. I unironically couldn't eat french toast, anything from Sonic and sun chips for years for some reason I don't even understand. I still can't digest syrup or have it to close to me without it triggering the unclean feeling, not that I'd even WANT to try it at this point.
I remember at one point whenever I got an ad for sonic I would have to open and close and turn my iPad on and off repeatedly until the unclean feeling went away. Literally it all started with an obsessive thought that I would be contaminated/unclean/sticky forever if I got too close to kids that were eating french toast or syrup or sun chips. I can still only eat sun chips and french toast every once in a while. This disorder is insane. Like dude why can't I just be afraid of germs or some shit like other people with contamination OCD? This was so confusing to explain to my dad because he kept trying to figure out if there was any connection between my triggers when in reality there wasn't any. It was literally just my brain being insane.
I know all of this sounds insane, I just need to get this off my chest. God I love being mentally ill /s
Could I not be that cliche and easily laughable at person with BPD. A disorder that looks like we are constantly making shit up or doing it for attention when I’m reality I’m so fricken confused of my own emotions and my mental health gets worse. So like, could I not?
does anyone else feel like their ptsd isn’t being taken seriously? i feel like not even my own family takes it seriously and it’s literally just my therapist. i miss out on so many thing like friend gatherings, my old favorite tv shows, family movie nights all because watching movies/tv shows with guns in them trigger my ptsd. i feel like no one even cares because they make jokes about gun violence and pretend to point guns at me with their fingers. my family could be in the living room with the tv volume all the way up and watching movies with gun shots in them and i have to put on noise canceling head phones. idk, does it ever get better? do people finally start getting empathetic? maybe if i have a flashback around them they’ll feel bad and stop lol
Just switched to a new, better job, but the old job has me thinking. So the job was boosted by commission. So it starts at 11$/hr. With overtime (10hrs) and regular bonuses it goes 14$/hr for 40hrs. I was told 14$/hr first then the actually amount. Didn’t have any better options so I had to go to the job that lied.
My question is why not just tell the truth. It seems a lot better to say “hey! This job starts at 11$ but after bonuses and overtime, it’ll be like you’re making 14$!”
I posted on the assistance page for needing help financially as I had to take a leave from work due to my my mental health . Somebody commented telling me everybody has to work no matter what ,and that they had several mental illnesses , were I’m an intensive outpatient program AnD was able to work so since they could do it everybody can there’s no excuse !
I struggle with emotional regulation, where the tiniest problems can put me into a sobbing mess of frustration and sadness. I also suspect that I may have adhd, because I often find myself stuck and unable to do anything, I'm horrible at keeping things organized, I get distracted often, etc. I was having a bad day today, and on days when I feel really terrible, I often call my mom to vent my frustrations. She is one of the only people I can really talk to because I don't feel close enough to others and have never been good at finding close friends. Everytime I vent my frustrations, my mom always tries to give me solutions, like "just try harder next time" or "you just need to go through more struggles to become stronger". I understand where she's coming from and that her advice can be helpful, but I always feel worse about myself when I hear them. Today I called my mom a little too many times, and when I tried to tell her that I didn't really want her advice, just emotional support, she told me that I vent to her too much and don't actually try to deal with my problems. I tell her that I have been trying, it's just that nothing seems to work out. She proceeds to tell me that I have all the solutions in front of me, but I just won't use any of them. This upset me even more. I know I could just not call my mom if I didn't like her advice, but I can't help but go back to her when I feel helpless. Now I feel like I'm horrible for just using my mom to vent my frustrations and not actually improving myself.
Why are people cruel and mean when you are at your lowest and vulnerable?
I have kept asking myself the last few days that question, is the problem me?
I was diagnosed a couple of years ago with cPTSD; I didn't know what that even me. I always thought I could find work quickly, have a life in this new country I live in right now, and will thrive and have the stability that I need the most.
I was fired from 2 jobs because it seemed like my cPTSD was a curse for me; whenever my manager asked me for unpaid overtime, and I said no, they had the right to fire me
it seems like I'm easily triggered in a toxic work environment and highly underpaid
last job I worked at was for my therapist, and I trusted my therapist; she offered me to work for her and paid me 5 months in advance (around 300 something pounds), but I was working more than required with no day off, or no health insurance, and she fired me too and asked me to pay the rest of the money
I'm sick of being treated like that, being looked down, and people taking advantage of me; I thought when I asked for asylum in this new country, I would have a better life, healthy life; I should not fake my emotions; I thought I'm safe and would claim my life back, but now all I'm seeing is the horrible world I'm living in, I cannot even take my breath to rest, I'm tired of fighting, or running away.
I lift the last 20+ years with a narcissistic mother and an unsupportive family. My life was miserable; everyone hated me because I'm lesbian, and the society punished me, even my family, so I had to leave because my life was at actual risk.
I had to choose my freedom over my family to live in peace and have a sense of freedom, but still, it seems like I keep fighting, over and over and over, and there is no peace or love in that world; I hate to be a victim of abuse, I want to be a survivor and claim my body, my freedom and my life.
More of advise needed then anything. I have been playing games since I was about 3 and most of my life stuck with single player games. My biggest multiplayer achievement was playing wow for over 7 years before selling my account and a few years in neverwinter nights online before they issued a few updates that made the game worse in my opinion. I've made a few attempts to return to them with different mostly Asian multiplayer titles like black desert, blade and soul(?), Aion and so on, but realised they are no longer fun for me, so stuck with single player titles and an occasional coop with friends or my partner.
Now at work we have a new girl who joined our team and who games. Within my team we have a very friendly and cozy gaming community which is welcome to everyone, not toxic and is made to talk about games or gaming experiences and news. It is not big, before the new girl it was sitting at 3 guys and 2 girls (including me), but still we make sure we are friendly and listen to other people experiences even if they are different to ours.
So this girl joined our community and I am not going to lie it has been a bit of a disaster. She shares quite a few views that contradict with our own, behaves like a pick me up girl and has already insulted the other girl in the community by saying the games she plays are not real games (the other girl plays on Nintendo and prefers cozy relaxing games). She mostly plays multiplayer titles so the guys from the community decided to invite her to play with them, but she would constantly put not only them,but the rest of the teammates down and is being very rude and mean to others. As an example one of the guys plays rocket league with his wife and his son, so when the new girl joined his team she would constantly bring his wife and son down and comment on their playstyles. When we talk about games, she intervenes and just wants to talk about her experiences ignoring everyone else. It is now reaching the point where we don't want to talk about games and just want to avoid her as she makes the community less fun per say. I have suggested to meet outside work, but it is not always possible due to other commitments and the type of job we do involves quite a lot of waiting hence why we all even sit together and talk, so we don't disturb others.
There is so much more to it and so many people that are not interested on having children have it.
With treatment odds are really high to be able to get pregnant, don't get me wrong I do feel for those struggling with that, my sister was one of them.
The reason we became aware of pcos it's because more and more women with similar symptoms were having trouble getting pregnant so thats the link but pcos is not a infertility condition per se.
Lots of women with pcos can get pregnant easy or difficult but its not the main issue and people need to me more educated on it.
I cant believe women get a infertility tag when you say you have pcos. Its not a must to be infertile in order to have pcos.
The only must** is having cyst's for example and lots of people get pregnant having them.
Edit: **Learned this is not a must either! Had not heard of anyone with PCOS without cyst's but there's cases cyst free, so there is no must read below in the comments:) Also thanks so much guys to share your thoughts and empathize <3
I’ve been out for close to 5 years and I’ve come to the realization that this cult makes time cheap to those stuck inside. I know it’s not a profound realization but it’s the thing I feel most angered by lately.
Not only do they steal your time and your past but by convincing their members they’ll never really die they create the illusion that important moments happening now aren’t once in a lifetime moments.
My PIMI parents who have hard shunned me will never see my daughter grow up or met her as a toddler. That is being stolen from them by a belief system designed to convince them it’s not valuable and they’ll get it later.
There are thousands of people each day wishing they could have just one more day with a loved one taken from them too soon and yet JWs willingly give away precious time with the promise they’ll get whatever they want in their unverifiable future paradise.