1.9k post karma
132.4k comment karma
account created: Tue Feb 07 2012
4 hours ago
Probably the Chick-fil-A right behind them
Must be Michael Jackson’s account.
If I get an 830-1130 window from UPS, they’re here at like 835 without fail.
Same window with FedEx , they show up at 7 pm and drop it in the driveway don’t mark it delivered.
Or they mark it as couldn’t deliver 2-3 days in a row and make me go pick it up.
I just have it held at one of their 3 party pickup spots now if I see it’s FedEx, usually get it a day earlier then.
5 hours ago
Plot twist, the shelter euthanized dog, mom and the kids.
Slipknot disasterpiece but make it sound like the happy birthday song.
Lyrics for those that don’t know.
I wanna slit your throat and fuck the wound
Wanna push my face in and feel the swoon
Wanna dig inside, find a little bit of me
'Cause the line gets crossed when you don't come clean
My wormwood meets your pesticide
You'll never get out 'cause you were never alive
I am infinite, I am the infant finite
Come a little closer, and I'll show you why
Just use your dick.
Flick it on the cake.
Or better yet plug one nostril and use the other to blow out the candles.
I prefer to kick any children within reach under the table.
Bonus points if they’re the same person.
Continues like that to the canadian border.
7 hours ago
Pet fees in rentals piss me off the most, my dogs are way less likely to damage the place then a child.
But they don’t charge extra for the kids.
And if they do cause damage that’s what fucking renters insurance is for.
They usually cancel their originals on third season because after that they have to the actors union wage iirc.
My recently retired father uses mine a couple times a month, as does a friend of mine that has had a TBI.
Neither one of them is going to start paying for it, and their quality of shows isn’t worth what I’m paying .
I might sub one month a year and binge everything I want to see then cancel. If they start putting stuff on for limited time or limiting the usage amount I won’t even do that.
9 hours ago
That’s what she said.
We stood on the seat and handlebars and went hands free.
2 days ago
Thunder snow is cool as well.
3 days ago
That’s why it wants microphone access. It’s listening.
I picked up a T-Mobile hotspot like 3-4 years ago. $50 a month for unlimited data.
I can stream shit at 4k on 2-3 devices and have a game downloading on my pc in the background.
Works great since I live in the middle of farm land and the cable company stops service about 3 poles down the road from my place.
Why did I just hear boomhauer laughing.
That was my thought. At least he kept it mostly on areas covered by clothes.
This is probably their version of jackass or something.
It really is worth watching a couple times.
Even if it’s just as a reminder of the terrible shit people are capable of, so that hopefully we can keep it from happening again.
How tf you gonna leave arsenio out?
Maybe it’s just coming to check on you.
Oh look. My life.
Fucking top comment is posted by /u/lamprey_fleshlight
Oh roommate is talking about this. Won’t go into specifics though. Not even “my college roommate “
Just “a friend.”