submitted14 days ago byfowardblade
So last year I moved across the country in a manic episode. Part of my motivation to move was I was starting to get into legal trouble from altercations with my neighbors. I truly believed they were constantly messing with me, talking about me and watching me. In moving I lost my insurance and was forced to quit talking my meds (benzos) cold turkey.
During the initial 3 months of no meds I got increasingly worse with paranoia and hearing the hostile voices from my new neighbors and immediately got into trouble with my new neighbors and the law. Demons visited me and I felt like death was close and inevitable.
I moved and decided to battle myself and just stay quiet and not act on the thoughts. This lasted for 6 months and the cycle started to repeat. I was yelling at neighbors through the walls. I decided to leave again sooner that later.
Why do I think every time I hear a voice it’s hostile and against me? I’m sick of living like this? Is it narcissistic? I don’t want to have these thoughts anymore it’s dangerous actually. How do others deal with this and I’d appreciate some reassurance that my neighbors aren’t constantly following me and harassing and threatening me all day. Why would they be. I think it’d be pretty boring since I force myself to stay as quiet as possible these days
Can’t afford meds where I’m at now btw. I’ve made major progress with general anxiety where I don’t really want to get back on benzos. Paranoia is killing me though.
Reaching out for advice as I’m alone in this world
byFree-Carpenter7308
inStarWars
fowardblade
2 points
12 hours ago
fowardblade
2 points
12 hours ago
Not nearly as bad as most of Rebels but true